True Stories

What was that you wanted to say to me?   Submit   Cool story bro - ever though of adapting it into a film?

snorlaxatives:

quiettimeeverytime:

snorlaxatives:

do british people really eat beans on toast as a meal

in america is everyone ignorant

it was just a question damn no need to get hostile go eat some beans on toast

(via pornstarwars)

— 10 hours ago with 101405 notes
thespookypear:

And so it has been written in the stars…

thespookypear:

And so it has been written in the stars…

(via dutchster)

— 10 hours ago with 1054 notes

never-obey:

cassandrajp:

tarynel:

lastnightsmusings:

"i am not at all physically attracted to you"

is an absolutely valid reason to not want to date someone.

People had the nerve to call me shallow for this.

By the way, it’s also totally cool to turn someone down without explaining your reasons. You are not interested, no will suffice. Do not feel pressured to explain your decisions to someone else. 

image

(Source: redsuns-n-orangemoons, via laughtime)

— 10 hours ago with 291240 notes
hellapugs:

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

hellapugs:

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

(via that-just-aint-funny)

— 12 hours ago with 518928 notes
trailerparkof-whores:

Did he just pull out his dick and drop it on them

trailerparkof-whores:

Did he just pull out his dick and drop it on them

(via laughtime)

— 12 hours ago with 215201 notes
shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.

shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?

There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.

(via epic-humor)

— 1 day ago with 248955 notes
Anonymous asked: Who's Danny Devito?


Answer:

ollivander:

i’m

— 1 day ago with 11 notes
cocaineteas:

"I want to cum inside of your pussy".

cocaineteas:

"I want to cum inside of your pussy".

(via onlylolgifs)

— 1 day ago with 5084 notes